eye opener

 There are plenty of experiences in a lifetime and many of those are meant for you to learn. I have my fair share of experiences that I believe is worthwhile to read, however, this memory of mine serves as my reminder to do good and be good from the moment it happened up until now, and I would willingly carry this memory until I grow up. 

 

 Our mother is sometimes complicated and I do believe that I’m not the only one who thinks of them that way, right? 

  She was my enemy when I started being a high schooler, well, she’s pretty uptight and strict and I hated that because high school for me meant exploring a wider horizon.  However, my mom always puts out the fire in me whenever I wanted to explore with the reason of “bata kapa” “saka kana mag desisyon ng ikaw lang pag bumukod kana” something like that.  I have always believed that those were her reason to keep me from exploring the means of the world, but a situation had opened my eyes and view perspectives in a different light. 

   I was a trouble kid back then, I used to date a lot even in my younger years and my mom would always catch me - I tried to hide. She found out that I was dating and had wanted me to break up with that person, however, with my small brain, I tried to fight with my mom with the sole purpose of not breaking up. She spouted plenty of things, and one of those is that I could get pregnant. It was a funny thought because of all people, me? get pregnant? nonsense, but with the rage that I have as of the moment, I answered her back with “I will never be like you, I will never get pregnant early”, for a moment, I saw a glimpse of sadness in her eyes then replaced with anger and with that I received a slap. Yes, a slap and the funny thing is that I was her mistake. Consequently, she told me that “your words will hunt you, be careful” and I immediately felt guilty and at the same time scared. Scared of what my life would be after I received her words like that. 

  Eventually, we patch things out but the memory still lingers. I started being careful and actually dated guys kilometers away from me for my mom not to overthink and ever since that day, I tried to understand my mom well and her words well. 

   Right now, I am happy and I can understand my mom better, with her decisions and choices, even if it would pain me because I simply trust her. She’s still a bit complicated but we have a better relationship than before. I guess all those beating and harsh words are worth it.